Mavis Beacon Bitches About Typing
Hello I am a black woman named Mavis Beacon and I am here to bitch about tpying. Put your fingers on the keys marked asdfjk; so that your left hand is on asdf and your right hand is on jkl;. Let's practice hitting those buttons for no reason just to make sure your hands are in the correct position for no reason asdfjk;asdfjklasdfjk;lasdfjkl;asdfkjl;asdfjkl;asdfljk;asdf;lkjfdsal;jksakl;safdl;kfsajkl.fajklsfjklasfjlakfslfdk;jlafjkl;sajlafsasjkafdsjl;ksafklj;ewairewqohewqpiru2678rqw632519756921785618964891274891274518923659128756918256891725.
Now, once you have mastered asdfjkl;, it is time to move on to actually spelling words. To do this, you need to move your fingers off asdfjkl; but only to reach the letters your fingers aren't already on. Don't worry, you can always move back if your keyboard has those convenient little bumps on it IF IT DOESN'T THEN YOU WILL BURN IN HELL BURN BURN BUUUURRRNNN!!!!
Please enjoy our relaxing MIDI music while we watch you completely fail at copying some badly written sample text because the punctuation marks in it are completely invisible. (LOL!!)
Congratulations
You scored seven words per minute. Congratulations! You have the lowest score among all our typists here at the Mavis Beacon Bitches About Typing Institute, which is not a real place don't let's be silly.
Now, because I am black woman, it means you are a racist wife beater. I hope you continue to fail at typing just as you have failed at life. Now on to the next level. We will be retyping some very boring passages from Immanuel Kant, so please don't fall asleep! We wouldn't know good writing if it came in a convenient computer game entitled Mavis Beacon Teaches Halfway Decent English Composition.
Anyway, the next thing we need to learn is really hard - the 10-key! It goes like this. 0750503170.780.178978920978078018720473749+-+-*-7+/*1-*7/+6-7+67852460141.707.2.513751.541. I hope that was fun.