Mutton
Mutton was invented by P.J. Renkiton in 1872. Before this invention, all people had to eat was old mouldy grapes and hairy cheese. Renkinton discovered the formula for it one day after accidentally dropping a one penny coin in neufronitiac acid. He also dropped the world's supply of the miraculous acid on his foot on the same day.
The Saviour
So, with just one bit of mutton in the world, and it being nearly bed time, renkinton went to find somewhere to make his fortune with the mutton. he was at the border of scotland at one point, when he met Jesus. it is vaguely known that this is the conversation they had:
- Renkinton: "Hey, Jesus!"
- Jesus: "Hello, my brother and/or sister of the earth!"
- R: "I made this new kind of food, Jesus! although, I only have one piece. I'm trying to find somewhere to make it prosper!"
- J: "Hmm... May I see?"
- R: "No!"
- J: "Just give it to me. I'll give it back."
- Enter captain Nemo
- Nemo: "Ahoy there! Be that a new food, that ye only have one of and are trying to make it prosper and make yerself a mighty fortune? Arr."
- R: "Yes."
At this point, Jesus grabbed the mutton and ran off. later, when he went to sleep, a common animal called a "Shoop" was wandering near him, saw the mutton, mistook it for a Male Shoop, and mated with it. The result was a cottony animal that was later called a "Sheep". The Sheep eventually ate all of the Shoops, cloned itself, and mated with the clone. the baby sheep lost all of it's carnivorous abilities, became much smaller, and lost the ability to breathe peaches.
Jesus' reaction
He blew up.
Other stuff
- Renkinton was also the co-inventor of J.R.R.Tolkein
- Renkinton had seventy-three-and-a-half daughters, fifty-two sons, four-thousand (Dead) dogs, and two wives by the time of his death
- One of his dogs went on to evolve into Winnie The Pooh, and he later convinced Piglet and Tigger to start World War II
- Renkinton stole the idea of Hula Hoops (crisps) from King David in 1701
- Renkinton's mother was Mrs. Santa Claus. She had cheated on Santa one day, and Renkinton is the result
- Renkinton also invented; The Cat; The Hamster; The Wheel; The Car; The Big Knights; The Bottom (Bum); The Gold; The Human; The Walnut Dispenser; The Bowl; The Fork; The Spoon; The Knife; The EMO; The Dog; and The Anus. Phew.
Note
- We are still doing research on Renkinton's past, we will add things every time we can be bothered.
- WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW? GET LOST! GO ON! SOD OFF!