Stop motion Cob'a Corn

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The Popcorn Series
Epic tales of corniness

Book OneBook TwoBook ThreeBook Four (Alternative ending)

Stoppa motiona cobacorn.

BEFORE READING- Read the prequel

Elevator music

"lalalaladedolala" that was all Ted could hear on the sidewalk as he sprouted underground. Until one day he awoke. "nyyyaaaaa" he gasped as he stuck his nose out of the soil, "nyaaaaa I see light... quite artificial light too..... I'M IN AN ELEVATOR!" Yes, nobody knows how, but he was in an elevator in the deluxe hotel next door to where they escaped. Just then Ted's stalk of corn grew into a giant stick hitting an old lady in the elevator, killing her instantly.

UNG I SAYS

Ung he says. Ted decided to leave the hotel.... that is until he found out that they were serving snakes for lunch. Ted loves snakes. He did not know they were food though, and they were poisonous. At that very moment, a snake bit him.... Corn cannot be poisoned, luckily. So Ted walked slowly outside past the frog's splattered intestines. Three weeks after sitting on the streets with nothing to do, he was picked up by a mail man and was told that someone was looking for him. "Oh yippee!!!" thought Ted, "I am so glad that someone wants me!-" However this person was George the Mongoose...

Reuniting!

Well Ted was packaged into a box and thrown on the porch of George. George then opened the door and tied Ted up. Before George could even pluck off the kernels, PeTeR JaCkSoN came and shot George three times. BANG BANG BANG!@@#!# George was dead! .....But PEtEr had not given up his journey to retrieve the last of his vomit..... A blender then fell out of Peter's nose. Ow?

Ted, narrowly dodging the spontaneous blender, was in the line of fire. Peter had a gun, a nervous twitch in his eyebrow, and the nerve to use either of them. The pair locked eyes, holding an intense gaze that just wouldn't let go. Peter fingered the air for his gun, whilst a lone bead of sweat trickled down the side of Ted's face, George flopped his dead arm about limply. The tension was unbearable, one of them had to act. It was one or the other, man or popcorn, life or death. An awed hush befell the room.

That was until the awed silence was interrupted by the enigmatic sound of Barney the Dinosaur's summer tour, all three of them turning simultaneously to watch the TV. Happily sitting next to each other, and smiling strangely as Barney taught them to count. It got a bit weird when Barney broke out into advanced calculus, George taking notice of this rolled over and began drawing a white silhouettes around his lifeless body. The other two continued watching, as to complete their diplomas.

A fat homeless hamburger

Taking advantage of the perfect time to attack, Ted threw a pebble in Peter's mouth while he was singing along with Barney. Peter began to cough, but nothing happened. Ted just decided to leave the building. Where he saw a fat homeless guy ranting about the end of the world. He was dressed up like a burger. "HEy DDEEE HEY DDEE DEPRESSIONS WE KNOW THE SUPPRESION? END IS NEAR! GIANT Qs!!!!" Hm... thought Ted. But he just decided keep walking. But then he remembered that in all stories, people who ignore the insane people ranting about the end of the world normally suffer from.... the end of the world. So Ted went back, took out a gun and shot the hamburger three times in the head. Then he asked himself why he didn't use it on Peter. So he went back to the house, and was going to shoot Peter.... but the credits for Barney were rolling. Peter must have left after the show! Just then he felt breathing down his neck. He turned around....

AND IT WASN'T PETER!

File:Giantq.jpg
Qs are lurking...

It was the letter Q.... the size of a human. Ted took no notice. But he should have. BECAUSE THAT Q WANTED HIS BRAINS. O'op Ted just continued. But on his way home (wherever that is) he remebered the fat homeless man's rants. "HEy DDEEE HEY DDEE DEPRESSIONS WE KNOW THE SUPPRESION? END IS NEAR! GIANT Qs!!!!"

Ted rushed down the street to see the Q once more. To his surprise, the Q was reading Make Way For Ducklings to several children. In the middle of his story telling, the giant Q consumed all of the children before rushing after Ted. Ted ran, and a chase scene began. the Q rolled into Ted who was jumping on the rear of a truck. The truck swayed to the right throwing Ted into the Q. The Q whipped out a sundae and ate it. And then he punched Ted in the gut. Ted spat up blood onto the Q and then grabbed the Q. He lifted the Q over his head and ripped it to pieces.

The Mel Gibson Plan

Everyone knows that only Mel Gibson can direct and act in movies. WELL THAT IS WRONG. Ted, after his fight with the Q, realized that since he successfully defeated the menace, he could easily act in action movies! He didn't even need to find a director to hire him, since he was a director! Plus, he could rub it in Peter Jackson's face that he could act and direct. Peter tried this, and all he got in his own movie, Lord of the Rings, was a 3 second appearance as a random scruffy guy.

Meanwhile!

At that exact moment exactly as the leotard made contact with Ted's skin, exactly as one of the props shuddered in the wind,

........someone farted.

The auditions

Teddy decided to start hiring good actors for roles in his film. His film was going to be based on his life. And Peter snuck in and auditioned for the role of the person who ran over Ted. obviously, Ted would play Ted. Peter got the cameo appearance, because Ted did not notice who Peter was, since Peter was disguised as a waffle.

Déjà vu

When it came time to film the scene where Ted would be crushed Ted planned it so he would almost be run over, but special effects would make it look like he was dead. But the plan was not carried out correctly, and Peter ran over Ted all the way!! Peter ran of laughing.

It looks like we haven't gotten anywhere since the end of part one..... Ted seems to be dead, and Peter is on the loose.

But as we know, Ted cannot be dead. So he stood up and ran after Peter. Then Peter and Ted had an epic fight scene. The two ran into a nuclear waste facility thing where they hopped around a vat of acid trying to push the other in. Peter tripped Teddy and Ted fell into the vat... almost. He was holding on by a finger, and then Peter stepped on his finger. Ted fell to his doom and was dissolved in the acids. Peter walked off, pleased, but he didn't get all that he wanted. Peter wanted to eat Ted. And that would be hard, now that Ted was dissolved. Peter then jumped head first into the vat, and exploded. At that very moment, Ted emerged from the vat in a new form. He was now like the sandman from Spiderman. The sand man was made of sand but could from into a human's shape. But Ted wasn't sand, he was CORN MEAL!


To Be Continued. Stay tuned for the last part of the trilogy, Cut-Away Cornmeal