The 12 Days of Christmas

A list of things my true love sent to me:

• Marbles
• Schizophrenia
• A fake ID
• Canada
• Glow worms
• Sabrina the teenage werewolf
• Polka-dotted spectres of death
• A kiosk
• Gastric bypass surgery
• FIIIIVE GOLDEN RIIIINGS!!!
• The head of Bill Clinton
• A cherry
• Andy Partridge in a patchery
• Schindler's Liszt
• Drunk wolves
• I'm not sure what it is and I wish it would stop eating my liver. I need that to live.
• Cars... lots of cars.