Instructions

Buy the can! Of death! 99% low-fat!
Buy the can opener! Preferrably of death!
Place the can opener (of death) onto the can (of death) in such a way that the can opener (of death) is able to open the can (of death).
Push down on the handle! (of death)
Keep rotating the can until finally you hear this scratchy sound. Or even souls howling from inside the can.
ARE YOU READY? No. Death is unexpected.
Now touch the lid. Watch out. For if you touch inside the lid, you die. Unless you want to die.
Clutch the lid. Watch out. For if you clutch inside the lid, you die. Unless you want to die.
Pull the lid off, and watch as Death emerges to steal your soul. If he doesn't, be patient. He has a ton of other souls to steal too, you know?
Die.

OPTIONAL METHOD

EXPERIENCE IT FIRSTHAND TODAY!

This article is part of the ILLOGICOPEDIA GUIDE TO DEATH File:Skull.jpg
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Canned Death