Nucleonic Power

Proof that nucleonic power works in the real world.

Nucleonic Power is a secret method used by Communist Arabic-speaking Retrograde Psychics to pry the information loose from American and Canadian telephone systems. Their aim is the promulgation of saffron laxness, putting mulch into the gears of society's progress.

Mel Winfield - Nucleonic Energy

“A brand new technology has been developed by him and has been further developed by him and his associates. This technology is the greatest humanitarian and environmental advance in the history of the world. It is, by far, much greater than that of electricity. He has called it nucleonic energy because it is obtained by tapping into the angular, or rotational, energy of the proton and neutron, known as nucleons, that make up the nuclei of all the atomic structure. The technology reverses the spin axis of the nucleon, or directs its orientation to any direction desired, to produce all forms of motion. Presently, the spin axes of all nucleons are oriented so as to produce motion towards the Earth center. This is know as gravity. This is fully explained in the book "The Science of Actuality" by Mel E. Winfield and has been proven by mathematics and by experiments which include dropping experiments and actual levitation of objects, of many materials, up to sixty pounds or more.”
- Mel Winfield

“{Actuality?! More like rabid koala bears descending from their eucalyptus perches en masse, in droves, attacking the villagers with their sharpened, frothy fangs and bacteria-laden claws, ripping flesh and de-organing the whole of the local terrified populace. What's that? Well, yes, you ought to be scared”
- Francis E. Dec on how Nucleonic Power makes him crap his pants