Hangman-rope Underling

This is him.

Hangman-rope Underling is, by day, an innocuous jeweler, having no grievousness in and of himself. One day, the BIG GOVERNMENT retaliated against the man-squid by forcing him to have intercourse in a FedEx truck, the driver rolling past various convenience stores all the while. At first, nobody believed him, until he passed the bar exam. Then he had the candles to afford first-class armor against the fiends of the Communist-controlled mind swarm hovering over New Jersey and parts of Pennsylvania.

This will be a short, adulterated and carpetbagged rant, complete with Bali Llamas and bells. Let's get to the point. The origins of the mudshark, the batgorilla and ice 7 begins with the tail of a fishing pole schlepp. Within a few minutes, you can do weird things with fish, if you want to. Sure, the rational being will contemplate the mudshark, the batgorilla. Does it do a man good to slice off his face, for the sake of an old Billy Preston album? I say no.

No, I say, and I say it oh so emphatically, so much so that the emphasis curls up on itself like a tiny, imperceptible >3 dimension, not counting time. That's why Zen monks use timers when they meditate. Not counting time.

An alternate explanation for fevers and chills can be appropriated from the hospital tent during Lent only. Non-Christians can preposter with abandon, with or without snakes. The police can be bribed, but have no ideas of murder. No, not murder! They will not do it!

Possessing limited edition † lava appendages.
Inappropriate outerwear ††

*Moose are eaten by this fiend. It also likes cheese!!!!!!

† 1/600 chance of selecting one of them from the market shelves.

†† Other classifications of UFO's seen hovering over the East European Bloc have attracted the attention of the Pope and other Romans, modern day luddites.