The Competitive Suicide League

From Uncyclopedia test II
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The Competitive Suicide League was an American sporting league where players had to kill themselves the fastest and the most awesome. Such stunts as jumping into a vat of acid filled with giant sharks were performed for extreme style points though not as efficient. Those looking for an efficient touch went for methods such as shooting one's head with a pistol and jumping off of a building. The most famous stunt in the history of the league was when professional Ronald Kitzin beheaded himself by putting a chainsaw on a electrically constructed timer that swung like an arm; clean chopping off his head. It took 5 seconds and he got 50/50 for style. It was known as "a pretty gangster-ass way to die" by most of the judges and one fan said, "Shit! I'm trying this when I get home!" The record for fastest time in history is when J.T. Cutwell of Sacremento, California fired a pistol aimed at his head in .0004 seconds. The crowd was shocked at how fast his index finger moved. The league ended because all of the competitors died and there was no one left that actually wanted to kill themselves with no rhyme or reason.

This article is part of the
ILLOGICOPEDIA GUIDE TO DEATH

DeathDeadDyingDiedNew DeathPeople who are deadList of Dead PeopleKillKilldèHow to die
Top 10 ways to dieThis article causes deathDeath CheeseDeath by toasterThe hex code of death
Dead but still doing stuffNoodle of deathThe Ultimate Destructo Death MachineThe gnomes plotting your death
The fly's deadI'm dying!How to be only slightly deadDeath by sparrowTHE CURSED WIKI ARTICLE
Wave of babiesDeadnessList of Reasons Not To Kill You In Cold Blood Right Where You Stand
Everybody will die.Canned DeathThere is a killer in your house     Add >>>