BONJOOK, The Banana God

File:Bananagod.jpg   BONJOOK, THE BANANA GOD APPROVES OF THIS ARTICLE This article shines in the favor of the Bananagod. File:Bananagod.jpg

Open For Collaboration

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File:Bananagod.jpg

BONJOOK is angry.

BONJOOK, The Banana God is the god of bananas. He demands that His name be capitalized. If you do not, you shall suffer his Power. He is not an Orange. He does not come from the Coconut. He has a squeaky voice with a Australian accent.
If you laugh at it, you will be Fed-Exed away.

History

BONJOOK was created when humanoids first discovered the banana was edible. So many were then eaten, that the souls of the deceased bananas collected into one peel, that it became BONJOOK.

The giant banana peel began then to unleash his wraith upon the humans, occasionally turning them into Bananaspawn, the most famous of which was the Bananaspawn General known as 'The evil one'.

The humans tried to fight back, to no avail. The mighty Bananagod destroyed every banana-eating human he could find (which was pretty much everyone except for a few people who thought they were squirrels), then began a thousand-year slumber.

Wraith

BONJOOK has often sacrificed humans that eat bananas (obviously). It is known as his Wraith. If you do not capitalize Wraith it will happen to you. His Wraith is a cruel process that goes as follows:

1. Roast the sacrifice in Banana Tar.
2. Peel the skin off like a banana peel
3. Salt the body
4. Place the body in a giant pot
5. Place exactly 37 Bananas in a perfect circle around the body.
6. Then he eats the body! OMONONOMOMO!!!

How to summon BONJOOK

Here is a step-by step guide on how to summon the mighty Bananagod.

1. Collect Ingredients. You will need:
   1. One Asian Kid
   2. One Fat Virgin
   3. One Flaming Banana Costume
   4. One Almighty Tube Hat Of Doom
   5. Several Bananas
2. Once you have purchased all of the above ingredients, do not place them in the blender, the Asian Kid might fit, but the Fat Virgin won't.
   
   Start by placing one banana, sliced, in a pan. Give the Almighty Tube Hat Of Doom and a bottle of red wine to the Asian Kid while he cooks the banana, as illustrated to the left.
   File:Bananagod summoning.jpg

   A Master Bananagod Summoner teaching his students the art of The Summoning.
3. Place the Fat Virgin into the Flaming Banana Costume, and have him/her preform the Great Dance around the flaming bananas, as illustrated to the right.
   File:Dancing Banana.gif

   Animation of the Great Dance
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
4. Begin the Sacred chant: It's Peanut Butta Jelly Time!, repeat three times.
5. If all went well, your Fat Virgin should become the portal for the mighty Bananagod.
6. Now run like fuckin' hell. You just cut up and set fire to a banana, and thus have incurred the wraith of BONJOOK, The Banana God!

See also

• Bananaman