Atheism

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Atheism destroys society, because we all know that atheists are murdering, lying, sick people who kill Christians for fun.

Atheism is a philosophy which maintains that God does not know how to yodel. This denail of divine yodelling is extremely offensive to moderately religious persons who live in high altitudes and claim to have actually heard God yodeling quite expertly, thank you very much, because they live high enough to be able to hear what's going on up on Heaven.

Now everybody knows that because atheists deny God's yodelling talents, they're going to hell, all of them, along with homosexuals, feminists, Muslims, Democrats, Liberals, Buddhists, Fundamentalists, liars, Barack Obama, and other assorted people who deny the ultimate divine word.

History of Atheism

Atheism began with the production of the 1865 film, The Sound of Music with it's famous leading musical number, "The Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps." Fanatical religious skeptics suggested in several important media interviews that this song, when played backwards, revealed hidden subliminal messages that revealed the fact that God couldn't yodel. This created a great stir but the theory is regarded by mainstream theologians as an urban legend. God once said, in an interview with Bill O'Rielly that he was taking yodelling lessons from the real Paul McCartney and was preparing his own musical production with rapping help from The Real Slim Shady.

See also