Did You Know?/Archive4

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Did you know? Archives
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Old stuff

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Yo there. This is the archive for the Did You Knows that have appeared on the front page at one point or another.

Wanna add something to the front page DYK section? Use this template, which goes straight on there. Cool eh?

Did you know...

...that I've lost my crossbow? Darn it.
...that this is the world as you know it and see it, the world of light?
...that if you cut a cube in half along its X vertices it dies?
...that Michael Jackson is a pimp?
...that Frodo was only going to Mordor because he heard it had a Whitecastle there?
...that bacteria have invaded your country, your street and every room of your house?
- ...that they can see you reading this very sentence as we speak?
...that killing a mockingbird won't cure your schizophrenia?
...that Wikipedia's article on Babylon 5 is even more ludicrously long than its article on the Minbari? And that I'm still sidetracked?
...that I'm horribly sidetracked right now and I'm in the middle of 18 things, all of them annoying, and that not a one of them is actually what I meant to be doing?
...that I'm running out of ideas for good DidYouKnow's?
...that there are two types of Pantheism; proper and improper?
...that originally, beef was green? People didn't appreciate and so the colour was changed.
...WHERE MY COFFEES R??
...that Jeff hates me? And my cat?
...that band-aids are just TOO sticky for their own good?
...I just poisoned your juice? Now drink up!
...I know something you don't?
...that you have 225 holes in your pants?
...that there is a murderer behind you? Holding a knife? Duck, man, DUCK!!!
...that passerby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood the other day?
...that You can be actively apathetic?
...that Artemis Fowl has an Atlantis Complex?
...that you're not actually reading this, you're just imagining it?
...that the manholes are coming?
...that traipsing around a Mosque with street shoes is a great way to make friends?
...that your fly is open?
...that Chiropractors have magical powers?
...IllogiNews is baked, not fried?
...that you can insulate your house with hippies?
...that Apple is test-marketing iChi Balls, a mens product that does everything including cleaning your balls, except make a phone call?
...rugby was invented by an American, and the original goal of the game was to prevent Gay Marriage?
...that I solemnly swear to always treat this roof like my daughter and raise it, you couldn't lift a single shingle off cause the way I feel I'm strong enough to go to the pub, pull the corner up and lift the whole liquor counter up cause I'm raising the bar I shoot for the moon but I'm too busy gazing at stars, I feel amazin' and all...
...that there were two puns in the above Eminem quote? Try to find them!
...that THEY'RE HERE?!
...that homo-cop is here?
...that this cheese taco owned by the Mo' Soul Conspiracy will explode in your stomach as soon as you are done reading this pointless message of pointlessness and you will be owned by the Crazy Raccoon Union and will enjoy dancing the hula with Bill Clinton who invented the lightbulb which is used for something and what is this about again?
... that this is the dopiest dope-ass dope that I've doped up in my dope?
- ... you dope?
... that because of the massive Iraq war leaks the Illogicopedia clubhouse toilets are now out of order?
... that I what what in the butt from time to time?
... that while soaps are often necessary aids in personal hygiene, they are only available for use during half hour blocks on prime time?
... that old people in love are actually suffering from some kind of mental illness?
- ... no, not racism.
... that I twatted your mum in the face?
... that there ain't no party like an S-Club party?
... that rhinocerous jello contributes to the depletion of horny animal-perverts?
... that the dinosaurs were wiped out for "tax purposes"?
... that fences can't fence?
... that we can dance if we want to?
- ... that we can leave your friends behind?
  - ... 'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, well they're no friends of mine?
... that you will go to the farewell show of Men At Work in 2050?
... that Illogicopedia still got love for the streets?
- ... that Illogicopedia is also still D.R.E?
... that Uruguay Orange Monkey Tails Capital Letters Unecessarily Used?
... that you will receive a court summon in the next 6 - 8 weeks whether you like it or not?
... that things that are yellow are also yellow?
... that the privacy roof is a rumbling potato?
... that your home is most probably a plagioclimax?
... that I slipped a hobo into your drink when you weren't looking?
... that the most severe crime a fruit can commit is date grape?
... that Steve Jobs once tried to take an apple tree to court over copyright issues?
- ... that apple trees have surprisingly good lawyers?
... that tea pots guess right 53.6% of the time?
... that me so horny, me love you long time 10 dorrar?
... that at a mole funeral the dearly departed is symbolicly buried above ground?
... that swine flu also affects computers?
- ... aa, aaa, AAAAATCHOOOEW!!!!1
... that ibble bibble wibble wibble was custard monkeyed with the utmost care and attention?
... that Sex Hams are upon us?
... that fat people are equal to or greater than 17?
... that some people just take jokes too far.
- ...that by some people; Seppy means T3canolis?
... that this is never gonna give you up?
- ... that you know the rules and so do I?
  - ...commitment is what I'm thinking of?
    - ...you wouldn't get this from any other guy?
      - ... that I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling?
        ...gonna make you understand?
        That private browsing is for p0rn?
... that you didn't know?
... that I'm afraid of Americans even though I am one?
- ... that Johnny's an American?
... that sometimes I watch you when you're sleeping?
- ... that I'm writing this while I'm sleeping- what the hell? Why is Testostereich here?
  - ... Testostereich: Mwahahahahahahhaah!
    - ... Sir Reggie Wincest strikes again.
... that I was actually one of 5, and that we were born as a human centipede?
... that I have a party in my pants and you're all invited?
... that admins such as Testostereich abuse this joke and force them to keep going when everyone has long since ceased caring?
- ... awww.
... that admins such as Testostereich abuse their Pedigree Chum and force them to include all 5 necessary vitamins for a balanced canine diet?
... that admins such as Testostereich abuse their grandmothers and force them to buy nice gifts for them at Christmas?
... that admins such as Testostereich abuse their solvents and can force them to engage battle with the giant floating unicorn of purple aubergines?
... that admins such as Testostereich abuse their cousins and can force them to date?
- ... Him?
  - ... And we all know what dating leads to.
... that admins such as Testostereich abuse their power and can vandalize the main page?
... that if you still haven't put your clocks back, it's too late and you'll have to stay on GMT for the rest of BST?
... that you should be outside on a day like this?
... that it's two hops this time?
- ... cha cha real smooth.
... that either way in a billion years time there will be no liquid water on earth?
... minerals vitamins arsenic banana skin bandana bonanza?
... Your Pets Will Not Be Flagged For Removal By Jesus During the Rapture?
... that for every human there are nine chickens, but nobody gets to eat them because they're all in Saddam Hussein's freezer?
... that going down a hill places it in terminal decline?
... that I am who I am, because I am an Iams cat.
... that sometimes...
- ...that sometimes I think of [[<insert name here>|you]] at night.
... that you are made up of trillions of tiny living creatures called cells, which when put under the microscope all look exactly like a tiny microbe version of you.
... that if you find the secret guitar chord, you win the Game of Life?
- ... incidentally, it's E7sus9 (Nth formation)
... that mathematics is neither big nor clever, just irritating?
... that I swear my toast just bit me?
- ... oh no, the prophecies are true!
... that WE'RE BACK BABY?!?!?!??!?
... that Monday is so depressed it's technically an emo?
... that yeast is technically alive?
- ... ALIVE!?!??!!
  - ...Puts down piece of bread OH NO!
... that I just called to say I love you?
... that if there's a bustle in your hedgerow don't be alarmed now, it's just a spring clean for the May queen?
... that you can be rest assured in the knowledge that years from now the former /b/tards will have life-shortening arthritis from typing LOLOLOLOLOLO LOLOLO LOL OMG OVER9000 too many times?
... that fried bread + the square root of pie is an oxo cube sandwich?
... that this those these thus?
... that E = M.C. Hammer?
... that X is the sum of all the equation's parts, while Y is a guilt-ridden bag of nerves?
... that no one cares about copyright theft?
... that scourge is the scourge of the galaxy?
... that love counts as two of your five a day, and bitter soul-crushing loneliness is behind most scurvy cases?
... that comas are an effective form of escapism?
... that when the sky falls in on us Chicken Little won't have the last laugh because he's roasting at gas mark 7 in a pie?
... that this isn't just a didyouknow, this is an M&S didyouknow?
... that the Konami Code won't help you here, beeyatch?
- ... though post-race scrutineering may well be of help?
... that there is a fair chance you may catch a dispirited influenza if you run hard enough at a billboard?
... that none of us has ever (well some of us have but anyway) and that's all there is to it?
... that I have not written any of these did-you-knows (or maybe it was someone else who didn't do it)?
... that as much as I can remember, there is always something in the hardware store that the postman and keep it simple?
... that while you might have known some of this before, there is never a way you could make me believe you did?
... that though Sigmand Freud may have had a thing for his mother, his facebook profile indicated that they were in fact just friends?
... that the afterlife just consists of bored people sitting around watching review of the year shows?
... that cactuses are leading the ambiguous join-the-dot genre in tattoos?
... that if Fred has 2.5 miles to travel, and walks at a speed of 4 miles an hour with a wind resistance of 45 slowing him down to 3 mph for 0.5 of the journey he won't make it to school in time for the maths exam?
... that to catch a criminal you must first think like a net?
... that you get a dead rat boat rabbit in the grand piano now, with every purchase?
... that I had a good Alzheimer's joke but I can't for the life of me remember it?
... that the Grinch was convicted in absentia at Nuremberg of being an accomplice to Hitler Claus?
... that there is a correlation between the prevalence of criminals in an area and local crime rates?
... that something something something pun?
... that the consumption Walkers crisps actually reduces your capacity to walk?
... that Santie Claus now gives wind turbines to bad children?
... that ... umm, like yeah?
... that everybody knows it?
... that I'm about to give you Sweet Chin Music? ~Taps chin rhythmically~
... that German Sausage Dog's eat big sausages when they're born, which makes them shaped like a hot tasty sausage barmcake?
... that the Oddity has no appendix?
... That I Am the Walrus!?
... That he really is the Walrus?
... That a bird on the hand is worth considerably less than one in the bush, owing to their poor hand-job giving skills?
... That I don't know much, ...but I know I love you?
... That humans probably won't evolve wings in either of our lifetimes.
... That by 2045 the internet will have been replaced by a giant omnipresent marrow?
... that in the spring of 2046 said marrow will be destroyed by zealous Cornish farmers, desperate to ensure they alone win the best vegetable prize at that years village féte, thus dooming humanity forever?

Did You Know?/Archive4

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