Why Catholicism rules
Right, all you people following these other religions like Pastafarianism and Duncanism and the like, listen up because it's convertin' time... Catholicism is the religion for you!
Yes, Catholicism - it's pretty awesome let me tell you. For starters, you get to have loads of children who will grow up and look after you when you grow old whilst you sit back and eat cake. Cake!
Not only that, but you get to have a picnic in church - wine and crisps at 11AM? Yes please! And the best thing of all is it's open every day of the week - kerching, free booze! Booze!
But wait, there's more. The leader bloke, that Pope bloke in Italy, wears a pointy hat that looks just like a triangular chicken sandwich. Chicken sandwich!
Health warning
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that Catholicism will make you fat and kill you. But forget all that! Because God will forgive you, even if you not only love your neighbour, but his fridge full of beer as well. Awesome.
I'm sure The Pope agrees, as he is giving this very article his blessing as we speak.
May the fourth be with you.