Cranky Kong
“Back in mah days, I would run circles around these idiots, their fancy graphics, and the fancy malarkey they pass off as "fun". Back in my day, video game consoles were as efficient as steam engines!”
Sir Donkey Jackass "Cranky" Kong is an elderly ape who inhabits a nursing home where he gives crappy insults and advice to his son Donkey Kong and whines about the days of old. He also likes throwing balls in Swanky's tent.
Biography
Days of Old
Cranky began his career trowing barrels at a fat plumber Jumpman who would later become the infamous vidja game villain Super Mario. He kept a Princess named Pauline in captivity. She would later evolve into Princess Toadstool and Bowser took Cranky's job in taking her from her castle.
Missin' the Old Days
Apparently, after his defeat by Stanley the Bugman, Cranky migrated to Donkey Kong Island; here he grew old and bitter.
He threw his cane everywhere and whined some more.
