PSWii 360
“We...are...sooooo screwed.”
“sfl#[rwgojwi4juhty5rhvgwyur360 and Nintendo wii but not quite at the same time.”
“It's the most awesome console ever! I got to level (Insert really big number that no one cares about) on that!”
“Dat thang is AWESOME!!!! gfhd, fo real dawg!”
“"I'm gonna steal it brah!”
The PSWii 360 is the ultimate console! It combines the crappy-ness of Xbox 360, the expensive-ness of PS3 and the Japanese-ness of Nintendo Wii!!! It is unstoppable!!!! NOTHING CAN KILL IT!!! (see exceptions below)
Basic Summary
"The PSWii 360 is a combination of Playstation 3, Wii and XBox 360" It inherits the Wii remote from the Wii, and inherts the Cell processor from the Ps3, and inherts the Red Light of Death from the Xbox 360. The PSWii 360 (Consolus E. Ultimus) is an unstoppable killing machine. It also runs on pure green bank notes US $1080 per minute. It goes around destroying cities, killing people and stuff like that. On weekends it just plays video games. Serving porn sites to every player online. It was at first considered a savior to all gamers because it killed all the n00bs. But it then attacked everyone else. That's when everyone got PISSED. It is now regarded as Godzilla basically, except it's a console. But deep down, it's really a nice guy. It distributed video games to Ethiopia after destroying the remaining food supply, gives to charity occasionally, goes against Bush, and blew up the Death Star. And yes, its power level is OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!!!
Its Creation
Scientists from all three companies decided "Let's combine these consoles! It's gonna be funny! What's the worst that can happen?"
“It would break down a lot, which Bill Gates would approve of.”
“We can show you previews of the awsome graphics then dissapoint you when the game actually comes out, then the graphics just look like the 360 but thanks for the extra 200bucks”
“Wii would like to build it.”
Unfortuneaiylyly something went wrong. The console slaughtered every one in the facility. Leaving only Gordon Freeman.
“THIS WAS ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE THEORETICAL!!!! THERE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE A CASCADE!!!”
“...”
“Yeah, we're pretty f***ed”
“You mean REALLY f***ed!”
“It is linked with Al Qaeda!!!”
“Death to the superidel!!!”
“I have no clue what's going on.”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!”
“You son ova beach-a! You killed-a Luigi!”
“iTE DAT PS TRIPLE IS DA SHEIT ITE! BALLIN'!!”
“I'm pwning on COD4! Suck mah balls bitchs and the PS triple FTW.”
Aftermath
The government attempted to stop it but it was too late. They threw everything they had at it: guns, tanks, missiles, blaming it for 9/11, unleashing grues, releasing babies, Master Chief, Samus, Mario, Micheal Jackson, nukes, the iNuke, the iPod and every single video game ever created.
Powers
- Red Ring Lazor of Death - The Xbox 360's red ring of Death is back and amplified!!! It will kill people(duh, did you see hte "of death" part?).
- Wireless Controller Missiles - Wii would like to fire missiles.
- Free internet Multiplayer of Doom - DAMN YOU PSWii 360 FOR RETAINING PS3'S FREE ONLINE MULTIPLAYER AND TURING IT INTO SOMETHING OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
- WiFi Vision - It seeeees you!
- HD Blades - Check out the High definition blades before it kills you!
- 5,000,000 GB Hard Drive - used to store a lot of games and um, other useful things...
- Deth-Ray Gun - This gun is used to fire out Deth-Rays, not blue rays but before you will actually die you will be temporarily transformed in the soon to be released PS4 then you will die(what worse way is there to die?).
- Backwards Compatibility with all video games - all those old games are playable!! It's gonna be awesome! There's some really good games like...like...um...nevermind, it sucks.
- Cell Microprocessor(AKA Advanced Meat grinder) - hey, look a meat grinde-OH GOD!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! AAAAA!! AAAAAAAAA!! AAA! It's KILLING ME!!!!!
- Four Prong X Y B A Launcher - The four buttons of Xbox 360 are now weapons! Press X Press X!
- If you attempt to flush it down the toilet, Masturr Cheiff jumps out and tea bags you.
- Four prong X O □ △ Launcher-Same thing as above except console with ease!!
- Two prong A B Launcher - Only two buttons?! I HATE YOU!!!!!
- Quadruple Analog stick Turrets - Motion sensitive turrets, now you have a choice! stay and get killed by the turrets or run and get vaporized by the lazor!
- Cooling fan jets - hot jets without the hot, it cools!! Great to avoid overheating!!
How not to kill it
-Grues: Almost as if it's in Soviet Russia, the PSWii 360 eats grue!
-Extreme sarcasm: works on grues only and don't think "Well why not just use grues then?" Read above way to not kill it.
-Xbox 360: PSWii 360 owns Xbox 360
-PS3: PSWii 360 owns PS3
-Wii: PSWii 360 ow- oh forget it.
-AAAAAAAAA!: The AAAAAAAAA! would only annoy the PSWii 360 and makes it kill you faster.
-Masturbtion: The PSWii 360's dense alloys and such keep sticky fluids from entering its circuitry.
-iNuke: Sure it has 6 GB of memory, stores 100,000 songs, plays videos and decimates entire cities, but it's not enough.
-Sex: this probably hurts too much and and it might rape lots o ppls an you'll be in trouble
-Zombies: The PSWii 360 has gotten all the achievements in Dead Rising.
-Infecting it with a zombie virus: It's already really powerful and giving it the ability to withstand most wounds isn't gonna help. And what's worse is that it'll eats your brains too.
-Huffing it- If you even try to huff it, it will huff you instead. It will keep huffing you until you die from over-huffing.
-Jesus- Even God's son can't kill it. That's how unstoppable it is! So regular Jesus won't work on it.
-Ninjas, Pirates, Ninja Pirates or any combination of ninjas and pirates- Don't even ask.
How to kill it
-Chuck Norris: Pretty much self explanatory, although the problem is that he won't come to save you. YOU'RE NOT WORTH THE ATTENTION OF THE ALL MIGHTY GOD...er, I mean, CHUCK!!!
-That guy in Rambo who's name I can't spell at the moment: His slurred speech would confuse the PSWii 360 for a long time before it decides to just vaporize him. Sylvester Stallone would the- wait?! Oooh, so that's his name. Right, so anyway, he would then have one last trick left, have a short insperational montage, which at the end, he will be vaporized anyway, but hey, ten minutes is better than nothing.
-The Spartan kick: Very effective against it. In fact, screaming "THIS...IS...SPARTAAAAAAAAA!" is one of the best ways to kill it. You need a pit big enough for it though, good luck with that.
-That really ugly kid in my class- Remember him? The one in the back? You know the one wi- huh? oh, yeah, Steve, yup, that's the one. Yeah....he was butt-ugly wasn't he? Well, no more need to explain, basically, he will drive it off. Oh wait...right...we locked him in the closet for like what? 1...5...7...9...15 days...yea, he's dead by now, nevermind then.
-Ultimate Jesus- PSWii 360 may be the ultimate console but Ultimate Jesus is more ultimate than the ultimate console because he is the most ultimate of all the ultimates.
-Black Jesus- He will beat da shit' outta it an' sho' 'im a can 'o' whoop ass. Fo shizzle, dawg.
The golden shit Coming from Chuck Norris, this shit has awesome karate powers.
Other video game console fusion-monsters
"The PSWii 360 is a combination of Playstation 3, Wii and XBox 360"(another quote from Captain Obvious) But what about other combinations of video games?
Nintendo XCube 2- the last generation version of PSWii 360, made by Nintendo Gamecube, Xbox and Playstation 2. It had the same basic powers except wireless numchucks controler missiles and Blue ray cannon.
GameboyPortable DS- The portable monster made from GameBoy, PSP and Nintendo DS (Microsoft hasn't made a portable console yet, and I say "Go f*** yourself for that Microsoft!")!! It's noticeably smaller and it has a battery life of 5 hours! requires constant recharging to keep killing people and terrorizing nations.
Game and NESNES Boy color- It would be formidable, but it's so old and lame, we just started playing it and KABLAM! The PSWii 360 later brought it back from the dead.
SaturnStation 64- It was a good hover monster which ate the Eiffel Tower, and the fans were used as teeth and toes, but it was a rubbish console so everyone threw it in the land fill and the console ate all the rubbish.
MegaGameSboyAdvaNESStationPortableCubeXWiiBoxurn DScolor624- Something you may never get in life...
In conclusion...
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We...are...f***ed...so...go...moose...run
and where the f**k is Chuck Moose when you need him.
