Catherine

From Uncyclopedia test II
(Redirected from User:Mars Cadbury/Catherine)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
File:Catherine ps3.jpg
It's like Q*bert, only with more tentacle rape.

Catherine is a video game in which you play a software programmer who spends all of his free time hanging out at his favorite bar, getting drunk with his idiot friends, smoking cigarettes, sitting on the toilet, sexting, playing video games, and having sex with his multiple girlfriends. He also lives in an apartment the size of a shoebox.

Gameplay

Gameplay in Catherine is broken up into two sections: daytime gameplay and nighttime gameplay.

Daytime

File:Vincent and catherine.jpg
At first I was like.

During the day, Vincent divides his time between work, his friends, his girlfriends, and getting drunk at his favorite bar, Stray Sheep.

Daytime Activities

  • Getting drunk.
  • Smoking cigarettes.
  • Playing video games.
  • Listening to music on the jukebox.
  • Having sex with Catherine.
  • Having sex with Katherine.
  • Getting yelled at by Katherine.
  • Getting yelled at by Catherine.
  • Playing grab-ass with Orlando in the restroom at work.
  • Sexting.

Nighttime

File:Catherine nightmare.jpg
But then I was all like.

During the night, Vincent is forced to relive a reoccurring nightmare in which he must climb up a giant tower while being chased by a giant vagina/anus monster.

Nighttime Activities

  • Pushing blocks.
  • Pulling blocks.
  • Falling off blocks.
  • Drinking energy drinks.
  • Getting yelled at by demon Katherine.
  • Getting yelled at by demon Catherine.
  • Going to Confession.
  • Getting into fights with giant sheep monsters.

Main Characters

Vincent Brooks

Vincent is a nerdy keyboard jockey who wants to avoid as much responsibility as possible.

Catherine

Vincent's secret girlfriend. Catherine is a sexy little tart who looks like she puts out on the first date and does.

Katherine McBride

Vincent's official girlfriend. Katherine is a ball-busting harpy who is always getting onto Vincent for his slothful lifestyle. It is unclear why she even puts up with his nonsense in the first place.

Orlando Haddick

A gullible moron who lost all his money in a pyramid scam. His wife left him as a result of this.

Jonathan Ariga

An used car salesman who smokes more than a trash can fire.

Tobias Nebbins

An annoying virgin who spends all his time trying to have sex with older women.

Erica Anderson

Waitress working at Stray Sheep. Erica is a lonely sex degenerate currently trying to sleep with Tobias.

Boss

Bartender working at Stray Sheep. Boss is a creepy old man who divides his time between watering down his drinks and trying to get his sex time on with Erica.

Character Gallery

See Also