Deoxyribonucleic Acid

Deoxyribonucleic Acid (DNA for short) is chemical ailment number 16 on the Random table of ailments. It is an ailment commonly found in humans that is used to give soft drinks its fizz. Which, I guess, means that people who drink soda are cannibals. Anyway, DNA is the only chemical ailment known to have developed sentience (smartness, for you normal folks) and hippies have long since protested the consumption of soda for this reason.

Properties

At room temperature, DNA is a plasma. It is the only known ailment to be a plasma at room temperature. It is known as the plasma. Did I mention it's a plasma? Anyway, its color is lasagna, a very cheesy pastish color not found in the other chemicals. DNA induces memory loss. Memory loss can result from eating DNA. It induces a loss of memory. Oh crap, I gotta lay off the DNA!

Uses

DNA has many uses, but it is most famous for being used in soft drinks. Other uses include hypnosis, fluffing, cleaning, and melting witches. It is also used by stars to fuel their mad hunger for universal domination.

DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-EN-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Science