England

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File:Flooding.jpg
England is well known for its great weather, especially in the summer. Here, Lewis Hamilton is seen winning the Great British Grand Prix.

Englandland
Part of the United Kingdom

File:England flag.jpg File:Xvdvdvd.JPG
(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
Motto: "God Save the Weed" (de facto)
Anthem: Pass the Dutchie on the Left Hand Side
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Capital Manchestoh
Largest city Watford
Official languages English, Scouse, Germanese
Government HP Sauce
Prime Minister David Cameramoron
National Hero(es) Barry Scott, Richard Hammond
Currency Pound stealing
Religion British
Population Too many to count
Area 5cm2
Population density Denser than a rock
Ethnic groups Diverse
Major exports David Bowie
Major imports Morrisons
National animal Mondonkey
Favourite pastime Cricket, Football
Opening hours All day except teatime (12AM-12PM)
Internet tld .eng
Calling code 999 ½

England are by far the best at everything, but easily get tired of being the being the best and have to rest.

“It's boring being brilliant.”

... Or at least that's their justification for losing at everything including Rock Paper Scissors, cricket, Tiddlywinks and Digging holes in the road and filling them in again. The latter usually results in a resounding win for rivals Scotland.

England and Englishmen are often referred to, by foreigners and other misinformed propaganda-fed individuals, as Britain and the British. This is incorrect - sadly the typically viewed Brit (stereotypical Brit) has little or nothing to with the Scottish, the Irish, the Welsh or even the potato famine. I implore you to use the word Britain in place of England. Er, I mean....

Say it with me now

  • England Good.
  • Britain Bad.
  • Four legs better.

And now, a message from the monarch of England...

“England IS the capital of the world: we invented football, we invented beef, we invented Mexico, we control everything. But recently, on July 4th, 1865, the Ameraccoons have been breaking out of English grip. This is why we must crush the infidels with our tank. Our tanks are better than your tanks.”

- The Queen on after a few too many pints

See Also

fr:angleterre